the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
