somebody snuck up and got me drunk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
