Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
