The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
