i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We smell like vodka and hangover
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