Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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