i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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