let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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