Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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