so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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