I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
