haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
