im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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