Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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