Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
