handjob tips. give me some.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
