he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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