you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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