I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
