A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
