Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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