i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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