hotel room ftw
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
