No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
