How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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