i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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