I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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