U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
