you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think i have herpe
just one?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
