Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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