Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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