Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
why do cheetos always look like penises
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
