Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
