I got chris browned last night
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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