Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
