He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
