She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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