he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
