i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
