No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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