Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pooping to opera.
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