i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
