No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Soap is not a condiment
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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