but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
