I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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