i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
