i think my tv is drunk
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
