That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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