I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
