He told me they were just razor bumps!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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