if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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