you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
