I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
