Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
