In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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