Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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