I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
