Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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