he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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