It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
